| Mother Nature likes her martinis with two olives and dirty Sept. 18, 2003 So Luke and I are taking on Hurricane Isabel full force, with a sixer of beer, a magnum of wine and another regular bottle of wine. So we�re ready for whatever Mother Nature has to bring because if she stops by our house, we�ll just have a drink with her and chat a bit as the cheap townhouse siding is ripped off of our house. I doubt it will be that bad that the siding leaves the house but it would be nice because I�ve never been the #1 fan of siding anyway. Last time we had a lot of wind we woke up and found that a small, decorative tree had fallen in our �backyard�. I was actually quite excited because I didn�t like the tree. I don�t know if it was because it was phallicly shaped or what but I did a little dance when I saw it lying on the ground. Yay! Ugly tree is gone dance! For those who aren�t up to date on our huge spread of land that we have in Virginia, well, we have like a 6 foot x 6 foot plot in the �front yard� and about the same amount in the back. I guess Virginia is for Lovers because you have to love everybody since you are so freaking packed in. If you check out the Virginia website there is a really hilarious picture of two people at a restaurant, drinking what I can only assume is Virginia wine. But if you look closely, it kinda� looks like the girl is about to just blind-side the guy with a �it�s not you it�s me� speech. Looks like she just fake-laughed, too. She seems kinda� frigid � he�s all trying to toast to something and she�s just not playing along. What a bitch! I�m gonna just put the picture up with the entry so you can see what I mean because I don�t want our Ken Doll of a governor (icky Mark Warner � met him and not a fan) to get all excited that people are visiting his site. But look at me, I�m just going on and on about frigid bitch and nice guy and I don�t even know them. But if I did I�d give the guy a hug and tell the girl off.  See? She doesn�t deserve nice guy � he is always doing nice things for her and taking her everywhere and she never shows him any respect! Anyway, so we�ve just taken naps and are resting up for our little hurricane party. We did a practice run last night � even the dog was a little tipsy. Please don�t send me emails about cruelty to animals because I love my dog like a child but I figure a little bit of wine won�t hurt her and when she gets older and has parties at the house while we are away she won�t go ass-wild because she will respect alcohol and proclaim that we are the coolest parents EVER for leaving for the weekend and letting Uncle Jon watch her. Jon drinks scotch and is a guys� guy - which means he has a TV that completely blocks all of the windows in his living room and he had to move his couch back about four feet to get the �better effect�. So we really should get Olive�s tolerance up a little � she�s already a wild child � she�s got a tattoo and she�s barely three.
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