So, I have some pounds that could stand to go. I�m probably what you would call �corn-fed� � I�m not completely rotund but being just a little over five feet tall does nothing for a person who is also, ahem, bootylicous.

So, I went for a run yesterday � a scant 2 or so miles. Mind you, I ran a marathon in 2001 so 2 miles should be nothing to me. I was SO wrong. It is so amazing how fast one can get out of shape. I�ve never really been in shape anyway so I guess it is amazing how fast one gets out of half-assed shape.

I started out running and singing a song in my head, much like what the military always does on TV. I always would hyperventilate myself when I would run so I learned that �The Brady Bunch� song is the perfect beat for my breathing and running pace. Now, the bad thing about this little trick is that this song stays stuck in your head for however long you are out there. Which totally blows.

Anyway, about half a mile into it I was already tired. This is something that is so incredibly embarrassing but that�s what journals are all about, right? Or at least mine, anyway. Everyone else seems to have better stories than me. Sigh. So, back to the run. I ran for about a mile before I noticed my shoe was untied. By the time I stopped and tied it, I had completely lost my groove. Running groove is like any other �groove�, �swerve� or whatever you call your deal where you get into the situation. You get into a running groove like you get into a good happy hour � somewhere around mile two or three (or drink two or three) you start chilling out, breathing slower and getting a little lightheaded.

This is the part that I always loved about running � this is the part where, like when you drink just enough but not too much, where you feel like a superstar. Like the hottest damn thing to ever walk the earth. But you have to be careful because like drinking, if you run too much you will hurl or just pass out or just want to die.

So, yesterday�s run for me, on a drinking scale, would be considered a good buzz. I got the lightheaded happiness phase at the end (the �runner�s high�). It sucks though because you have to work through the pain to get to that point. I think I like drinking better because it�s not like you have to get beaten before you belly up to the bar, unless you are being initiated into a frat or something.