The other day I was walking to my car from Spanish class, I had just separated ways with a guy from my class, we were talking about how much we can�t stand the class and how much the joy is sucked out of the language now. I had just passed the statue of George Mason himself when some dude handed me a flier and asked me if I knew that Dick Cheney hated America. I half-laughed, said no, I didn�t know that and politely took the flier but didn�t break my pace. Apparently, my reaction was seen as hostile and I was approached by another politiki, who not only walked right in my line of travel, but pretty much popped the �personal space� bubble while doing so. I stopped to keep from running into him. About a foot and a half or two feet away from my body he stood as he asked, �What is the difference between humans and animals?�

I replied with a not so witty or intelligent �wha? Uh..I don�t know� and looked up at him expecting some kind of answer. It was unfortunate that this guy was tall enough for me to have to crick my neck upward to look at him and even more unfortunate that he chose to park his body directly in front of the sun. He blocked the rays, but not enough for them to still be in my face and for me to have to squint and tilt my head sideways to try to avoid being blinded.

So, at this point I probably looked like I was full on into flirt mode with this dude, head tilted and eyes all squinty. He asked me again, �What is the difference between men and animals?� (notice I will be using the alphabravoesque style of entry to convey my thoughts from what I actually said - unlike alphabravo, you will notice I talk shit in my brain but by the time I say it it has morphed to stupidity)

Either this is the worst pick up line the universe has ever known or this guy is totally serious. Is he serious? Oh, I�ll just give an answer and he�ll leave me alone.

�Choice�, I said and started moving around him.

Sweet, now I can leave.

He stepped in front of me again and asked, �so if a dog chooses on food over another that is not a choice? I�m just trying to get you to think � what is the difference between men and animals?�

Huh? I�ve been fucking thinking all day, you ass. Talk about evolution and instinct�say something�shut him up!

�Um�I have to go to work�, I lied

Common courtesy would dictate that he�ll leave me alone now.

�So you don�t think that animals have a choice�if a dog has two options of food and picks a certain food that that action isn�t a choice? Are you sure that is your answer�

No, you ass, it�s not a choice � animals are conditioned to do certain things and instinct also dictates what they will do.

�Uh...Animals don�t have a voice� I said.

That should work. Leave me alone.

�So a parrot who is taught to speak doesn�t have a voice?�

OK, am I on TV or something? Is there a local mental hospital on a field trip today?

�Humans need to understand that other humans should not be treated like animals. Do you realize that there are people in this world who have less of a voice than a parrot? Did you know��

Aarrghh! What planet are you from? I wonder if I can make my phone ring to have an excuse. He�s talking so fast I can�t get in a word edgewise. Why can�t I get my phone to ring! FFUUCCKK! Oh, if I called myself my voicemail would pick up. Shit. Does he think that he�ll change my mind in any way about whatever he�s talking about?

��the government is run by anti-American satanists. Did you know that? Are you aware that our economy�.

Now you are damning �the man�? Well, you sure look comfortable in your Eddie Bauer getup that was probably produced by the very people without a voice that you are talking about. How do you feel about supporting slave labor? God, he hasn�t stopped talking! I can just turn the volume up and down on my phone � that could sound like ringing.

��and the American dollar will crash and we will be left with nothing. �

Then you should be saving your money instead of buying lattes, like the one in your hand, dumbass. Yay! I made my phone make noise.

�Um, my phone is ringing � I have to go� I said.

�Well, just think about what I said, will you?�

�Uh, sure.�

People like you are the reason politics has become such a bad word to me. I'm so bleh. about this kind of stuff now and that's so bad. YOU are why

And I ran like a cheap hooker on Sunset toward a Mercedes. And I didn�t stop until I was out of sight.