Heads are probably rolling in Hollywood because there was a specific actress last night whose head could have easily rolled for days, what with the lil� helmet monstrosity that was her hairstyle for the grand event. Marcia Gay Harden, who apparently wanted to emulate her pregnant belly, had the highest and roundest helmet hair I have ever seen. Even my own mother can�t get her hair that perfectly shaped and my momma� has a lotta� practice on her side. The first thing that came out of my mouth was that her head looked as pregnant as the rest of her.

After the guys finished their band practice, I went to Mike and Kelly�s house to watch the rest of the Oscars. Luke went to a concert in DC because 1) he wanted to and 2) he can�t take two drunk women in evening gowns oh-my-goding all over the place about hair and dresses. Anyway, off to Mike and Kelly�s we went. Upon arrival, I was promptly handed a glass of champagne and given a gown to wear. My day just didn�t permit me to leave my house with any sense whatsoever so I, of course, walked out the door without a thing to wear for the event.

We were quite giggly throughout the whole thing and I must say that that is the first time I�ve actually been able to stay awake through the whole thing. Every time The Lord of the Rings was up for something they would show what I now just call �the guys� and I would squeak in what I am sure is the most annoying voice every, far ahead of Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber � �the hobbits!�. After me drinking a lot and their winning a lot the slurs got more interesting and I had to be quick because they won something every five minutes so it started sounding something like �thar�s dem hobbitzes...zes (insert giggle)�.

It was so much fun just giggling about people�s hair and forging a new respect for Johnny Depp. This year, I noticed a lot more interesting camera work than years before. When someone won and thanked Tom Cruise for being honest, the TV was immediately filled with a shot of Nicole Kidman with a �I know I�m on camera and will not have any reaction� look. Other funny shots were of Johnny Depp, who looked like he had just taken a seat in hell or something. From what I understand, he is very �damn the man, the academy, etc.� so he looked none too happy to be sitting there for three hours.

The drunken observation that we made were: Catherine Zeta-Jones looked like she had either Saran Wrapped her stomach under her dress and her hip fat was not included or, well, that�s what she looked like there is no other option. Jamie Lee Curtis� boobs were at any moment about to fly out at any given moment. Peter Jackson is in serious need of a makeover. Ian McKellan is a silver fox, as is Sean Connery.

Three bottles of champagne (between the two of us, not just me) later and eleven wins by Lord of the Rings, I was safety nestled in the car as Luke drove home. Monday morning, I felt like ass when I woke up and wondered what cat snuck into the house, up the stairs, into our room, jumped on the bed and shit in my mouth. Everything tasted bad and felt worse. But it was worth it. So totally worth it.