| like "The Birds" but with squirrels....so, it would be "The Squirrels".....forget it - Squirrely. Damn, I hate it when I use stupid titles! Oct. 02, 2003 So this morning I was driving to class after I had spent 2 hours trying to get a stupid CD that I got with my Geography book to work, and I saw this daredevil of a squirrel crossing a power line that stretched ACROSS the parkway. The parkway that I speak of has two lanes of traffic in each direction and, since it is Virginia, everybody drives like a bat out of hell. So, this David Blane of squirrels, death wish obviously written out for his little squirrel friends to complete after his demise, was just truckin� along this power line, stopping every once in a while to check out traffic and rub his little paws together. I always think squirrels are up to something when the rub their little paws together all cartoon-villan like. Animals never cease to amaze me. But as I watched him (I was at a stop light so I had time to analyze) I wondered was on the other side that was so appealing to him. Since I was near campus I wondered if there was a frat for squirrels that he was trying to join and that this might be part of the hazing process. Can�t you just see all the little squirrels high-fiving and giving little paw shakes like on that GEICO commercial when he completes his �challenge�. I wonder if squirrels throw really awesome keggers? Or maybe he was trying to impress a hot squirrel or maybe it was part of gym class, like the human equivalent of climbing the rope. I was also reminded of the squirrels that used to eat our Christmas lights while they were plugged in, they�d just chew through the wires and run off with the bulbs, leaving the circuit broken so our house looked more like Arkansas-style Christmas than California (no offense to anyone, I swear. But judging from my GuestMap only two people, both from Canada read this anyway. Not so subtle HINT! HINT!) I�m sure if you really, really can�t live without seeing the tape I can get you a copy. Anyway, my question is this�.. Are squirrels going to take over the world? Check it: they are ballsy (or, if you like bad jokes, they got huge nuts), they are really quick, they bite really freaking hard when you tease them with a bagel and they have those little devious hand gestures. So, what�s up with squirrels? Will they be like the dolphins on the Simpsons and force us into the woods to live while they live in our homes and drive our cars? Will they leave peanuts out for us to eat and watch us as we scamper around their cities, campuses and yards? Apparently, I am little miss behind-the-times because there are already websites about the squirrel revolution: Squirrel Hazing: The Untold Story and here�s a little something to brighten your day. Only the very wise and enlightened understand the genius of the squirrel that goes WEEEEEEEEEE! (or we�re all just insane but I�d rather call myself a genius so there.)
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